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Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I just blew my weed a kiss
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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