Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Dicks are not precious.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
