Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
