Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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