I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
oh god the rape fog is back!
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
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