whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
