thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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