i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
