He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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