He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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