i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
