She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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