I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
