Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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