I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
