Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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