My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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