I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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