Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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