I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
