ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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