Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
