Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
