i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
