I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
