the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
