woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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