i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize