He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
