Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
