Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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