DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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