so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
