I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
