You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
