I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
