Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
