I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm sobbing to NWA
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
