I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
