I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
