can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
