hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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