Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
