so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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