saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
You can't motorboat a personality
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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