Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
