if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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