So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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