the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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