Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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