I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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