Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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