Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
