This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize