I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
