So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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