It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
