my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
