In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
