I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
