how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
