No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
