The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
