he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
