grandma shit on top of the toilet
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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