Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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