Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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