I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
