Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
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