after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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