my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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