We're facebook friends in real life
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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