You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
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