STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
