Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
