wat bout pragnant strippers??
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
