He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
