i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
