i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize