If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Randomize
