obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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