D3 body, D1 cock
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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