Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
